When I was a child the argument was 'how many phone calls can I make and how long can I spend on a call'. I can still hear my mother's voice saying 'how on earth can you spend an hour talking to someone you just spent six hours in school with, what can you possibly have left to say'. Of course there was always lots to say.
Now the argument is 'when will I be old enough to have my own mobile phone, why can't I have a laptop, I haven't been on the Xbox for hours..'
There's a lot more texting than talking, no more excitement waiting for the letter to arrive from your French pen pal, or the gang you met in the Summer camp, it's all Facebook and email, and you know it's not a bad thing, it's easier to stay in touch with old friends, and when your child does become more independent and begins going places with friends unaccompanied by adults, there is such peace of mind knowing they are reachable at all times via mobile phones.
The World Wide Web is a fantastic source of information, inspiration, and fun, but unfortunately it also opens our homes to predators in many forms and it's our job as a parent to ensure that our sons and daughters are safe, so we need to get the balance right between monitoring their usage, while allowing them some privacy.
When we moved to our family home I was so excited to have my own office, with a beautiful cherry wood large corner desk, and leather swivel chair. When I needed inspiration I would gaze out the window at the wonderful views, fields with sheep and cows grazing, and in early morning I would see rabbits and hares, sometimes a fox. It was my little sanctuary.
When my eldest son became interested in using my computer I was so happy to see how quickly he picked up how to log on, and how to use the net, and in no time he was surfing away, without needing my help, and as he began spending more and more time on the computer a realisation dawned on me. He was totally unsupervised, away from the family with no monitoring unless one of us popped upstairs to check on him.
Yes we had all the securities and blocks in place but are they enough? There is no substitute for parental supervision. At his age, I did not allow my son to walk up to our quiet, sleepy village alone, I certainly wouldn't have sent him into the city with a few words of warning about not talking to strangers, yet he had the whole world and all those in it at his fingertips on the internet.
I knew there was only one solution, the cherry wood desk went on eBay, replaced by the mini gym my husband had wanted, and furniture was dragged, lifted and rearranged to fit a small flat pack desk in the corner of the family room, the new home for my computer. From then on when my sons where using the computer we were in and out, keeping a close watch on what they were logging onto, not in an obvious way, but in a natural way.
When I caught my 'seven year old' and his highly embarrassed friend Goggling 'sexy babes' I knew my small sacrifice was the right decision, (at the time I didn't think he even knew how to spell sexy).
For all sorts of reasons, from cyber bullying to child predators we need to keep our children safe on the net. Don't expect a computer programme to take the role of parent. There is no substitute for parental supervision. Follow my lead, place the family computer in the family room and ensure that you are the one monitoring your child's time on the net, and indeed your teenagers too.
Our children are our most treasured possession, keep them safe.
http://www.tirnanogchildcareandmontessori.com
