The Internet is still pretty safe overall, even for seniors, according to research of various Internet safety sites like http://www.WiredSafety.org who estimated a 90 - 97 percent "terrific" Internet. People are chatting with one another, making cyber-dates. However, there are some general rules of Internet etiquette or "netiquette" and some precautions to take for possible dangers lurking there. Here are some pointers compiled from several websites experienced in cyber-dating techniques.
SAFETY TIPS
1. Do Not Give Out Personal Information - Whether it's via email, online chat rooms, message boards, in your personal ad, etc., do not disclose your personal information like your complete name, address, telephone number, work place, etc. Use a third party email address instead of one with your domain or work domain, that is easily traceable. For example, instead of using joe@seniortimes.com , set up an email account like joe@yahoo.com or joe@hotmail.com (search "free email accounts" for places like this). Preferred dating sites offer email forwarding so that members do not see private information.
2. Do Not Lie - Be up front about your age and appearance. Better to not be caught in lies later on or lead someone on falsely.
3. Be Tactful and Leary - Do not believe everything you read in posts, in emails or in general, online. You could be chatting with a child or someone faking their sexual orientation. The odds are that you will probably encounter someone a tad "undesirable" from time to time, so try to use appropriate replies, using tact, or ignore the encounter, if it suits the situation.
4. Use Caution in Sharing Images - Whenever you think about sharing a digital photo online, keep in mind that it may be possible for thousands to see it on the Internet, not just one person. Plus your photo can be copied, altered with different software out there today and posted elsewhere. If you do use your image, send one that shows you with a warm smile, not a frown.
5. Ask if Unsure - Go slow like the tortoise in the race with the hare and ask questions if you are unsure how to proceed in your contact and communications. Contact the site owner or webmaster (check for contact info when you register), ask trusted friends for helpful resources, check with local authorities. Remember that old adage, "Better safe than sorry!"
6. Be careful if you decide to meet for the first date. Remember there is safety in numbers, so meet in a public place with other friends around.
7. Keep copies of communications in a file so that you can show friends or the law in case your meeting or continued contact takes a bad turn. And do report any problems and cooperate with authorities. They can get information from your computer and communications to aid in tracking down culprits in some cases. Don't try to take matters into your own hands and stalk the culprit yourself. Be safe.
8. Let men instigate online and offline relationships. Men still like to pursue. Online studies show that this has proven safer, too, especially with Internet dating. Men should make the first email move. And women should NOT reply to men's ads; let the men pursue. (Sorry guys!)
9. So that you don't appear anxious or desperate or both, generally wait for a day or 24-hour period before replying. And forget about replying on weekend and holidays, at least at first, and being available via instant messaging. This is especially important for women (double standards are still around and even exist in the Internet dating scene) - you want to "appear" socially active, confident - blah, blah, blah, even if you are just home washing your hair.
10. Don't date someone who is already married to someone else - even if that person says he or she is getting a divorce. Let the divorce happen first. Otherwise things could get ugly. And you may even have to face the spouse / ex-spouse and children down the road. So think of others, too, when even considering someone who is not single.
11. If after several emails or letters you decide to talk on the phone, keep the first call short, around 10 minutes. Plan to have to "rush" off. Your goal is to hear the person's voice and talk a short while only, not seeming over anxious.
12. Some gents do complain that the ladies do not reply to their emails. So ladies, reply! At least say, "No, thank you."
13. Check their background. Most any company can run a name through a criminal database. But wouldn't you have more confidence in the background check if it was done by a Licensed Private Investigator? PI's are trained to check for the obvious, but to also look for the concealed evidence that often reveals the true nature of an individual. Misspelled names, altered dates of birth, incorrect social security numbers, maiden and/or alias names are just a few of the areas that PI's regularly check, but most background check companies never even consider.
For less than the price of hamburgers and a movie, you can have piece of mind. Choose from a basic criminal check to a complete comprehensive background report. Don't take chances.
NETIQUETTE
Here are some general guidelines for your online communications.
o Use respectful tones and wording. Swear words and hurtful remarks are not good for anyone. If someone presses you, for example, to share confidential information that you shouldn't, just say, "No" and tell the site monitors / webmaster of the forum, chat room or online dating site, if necessary.
o Look for dating and other resource websites that list street addresses instead of post office boxes or nothing at all. Ask friends for referrals.
o Try to avoid stretching the truth about your accomplishments, job title, etc. Then if a relationship develops, things will run much smoother.
o Try to avoid many 1-word replies and 1-sentence communications.
Take some time to develop your thoughts and share in your paragraphs. In short, be a friend.
o Using all capital letters mean "SHOUTING" and is difficult to read at any length.
Take care, be smart, be safe and have fun with your cyber-dating!
Mickey E. D. Mixon
Private Investigator
American Investigation Brokers LLC
TX License #A13506
Member - National Association
of Security Agencies, Inc. (NASA)
Let American Investigation Brokers LLC, Online Dating help you have a safe online dating experience.
